Hello my lovelies! We’re one month away from Summer being over, and there’s only 134 days left of the year, and I’ve been doing some reflecting. You see, a lot has happened for me over this last year; and that’s not including the shit show that 2020 has been for the world. Other than 2020 throwing everything at us, this year has been a big year for me in terms of personal growth and transformation.
To list a few of the big things that’ve happened this year for me:
- I left an 8 year relationship.
- I came out as Pansexual to everyone I know.
- I finally started looking after my body and actively changing my thought process around my appearance.
- I finally started looking after my skin.
- I’ve started dating.
- I’ve been running my own freelance business for 10 months.
- I shaved my head.
- I made myself a priority.
- I finally found out what has been causing my chronic back pain for the last 4 years.
Basically, I’ve had a lot going on these past months. And I think I’m finally beginning to realise what I want for myself, and I’ve certainly finally started seeing my own self worth.
This hasn’t been like a light bulb thing for me, it’s been something that I’ve been working on for a long time and has been something I’ve also wanted to write about for a long time too. And the reasoning behind me only just writing this now is because I’m in a place of self acceptance and self love; it always seemed like a weird idea to me to want to write a post about self love and self worth, because there’s still certain things I wouldn’t mind changing about myself, so how on earth could I preach to others about loving yourself if I still had some things that I’d like to change?
But then I remembered that the fact that I’m aware of that and on this journey of self love and knowing my worth is just proof that I’m human and we all have days where we’d change something if we could.
Bottom line though: I’m in a place of acceptance and neutrality with who I am, most days I love myself, and there’s days when I’m just not feeling it, and both are ok and valid.
Loving yourself and who you’re becoming is not big headed or selfish, but being happy with who you are, knowing your worth and not feeling like you need to change to meet someone elses view on what you should or shouldn’t look/speak/act like. Just being comfortable being yourself.
I haven’t spoken a lot about my break up from my long term relationship at the start of the year, but part of the reason why that ended was because I started to realise that I had changed who I was to fit someone else’s ideals and I felt guilty for being myself! I also didn’t really know what I wanted in my future anymore, so it was time to go out and find myself again. And, after 6 months, I now have a very strong idea of what I want for my future, who I am and my worth.
One of the other big things that has helped me change my view of myself was shaving my head. I’ve always wanted to shave my head, and it’s honestly the most liberating thing I’ve ever done; it forced me to start looking at how I see my own beauty, because my hair has always been a security blanket, so without it, I had to start seeing myself in a new light. In this new, badass, give no fucks what others think about my appearance sort of way. And since then, that’s kind of been my motto when it comes to how I look!
Another thing that I now live by is just being completely unapologetically myself. Loving yourself and knowing your worth isn’t being vain or thinking that you’re above everyone else; it’s simply knowing that you’re pretty amazing, and worthy of happiness and great things.
So what are some tips for building up your self love and self worth?
- Tell yourself one nice thing about yourself every day. (cheesy I know, but after doing this for a while things’ll start to sink in)
- If you struggle with body positivity, I highly recommend the 30 day nude challenge. Now, I know how that sounds, but it’s simply taking a photo of yourself every single day (you don’t have to send them to anyone – they’re for your eyes only), without filters or trying to suck in or change your shape can really help you realise that your body is beautiful as it is, and you don’t need to change it to be some instagram model lookalike. I did this challenge myself and it’s made me appreciate how my body looks and now I see it in a completely new positive light, rather than something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. Also, you’ll see how your pictures change over the course of the 30 days, they usually seem better and better and that’s because you start feeling more confident which in return radiates from your photos!
- Wear clothes that make you happy.
- Do something out of your comfort zone. It hasn’t got to be anything big, just something that makes you nervous or anxious, so you can prove to yourself how strong you actually are.
- Acknowledge that you aren’t going to love everything about yourself every single day, and that’s ok.
- Date yourself. You know that warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone treats you? Well did you know that you can give yourself that same feeling by treating yourself that way others do? Something I’m doing is dating myself, so every week or so I’ll take myself out on a date (or have a home date – you know, coronavirus and all that) and I’ll show myself a little love!
- Have boundaries. Learn to say no every now and again. I’m super guilty of saying yes and agreeing to do things when I may not have the time or just might not want to, so something I’m working on is actually saying no when I need to. You don’t have to be rude or anything, just simply saying “sorry, I’ve got too much on at the moment” or “No, sorry” will do the job, and having those boundaries in place will help you not only have more time to get what you need to get done, but also you’ll learn that saying no does not make you a bad person.
- Do something that makes you feel good. Whether that’s singing, dancing, drawing, reading, watching a movie, working out, do what makes you happy.
And those are my self love and self worth tips! How are you doing with your self love journey? I think self love is an ongoing journey for most of us, and it’s important to celebrate ourselves and the little victories we have! What’s your most recent achievement? Let me know in the comments!
Oh, as you may have guessed, over the last few weeks a lot has been happening in my life, so for the new few months posts might be fortnightly, but once everything has settled down my posting schedule will be back to normal again!
Have a great bank holiday my lovelies! Love,